Homer: Everybody in the USA,
Hates their stupid neighbor,
He's Flanders and he's really, really lame...
Flanders tried to wreck my song,
His views on birth control are wrong,
I hate his guts and Flanders is his name.

Lenny/Carl/Homer: F-L-A-N-R-D-S,
Homer: He's the man that I hate best,
I'd like to see his house go up in flames.

Lenny/Carl: F-L-A,
Homer: His name is Ned!
Lenny/Carl: E-R-S,
Homer: That's a stupid name!
He's worse than Frankenstein or Dr. No.

Byrne: You can't upset him even slightly,
He just smiles and nods politely,
Then goes home and worships nightly,
His Leftorium, is an emporium, of woe!

Lenny/Carl: F-L-A,
Homer: Don't yell at Ned!
Lenny/Carl: D-E-R,
Homer: His wife is dead!
Everybody hates that stupid jerk!

Byrne: Springfield rocks with Homer's joyous loathing,
Filling clubs with angry Valentinos,
You don't have to move your feet,
Just hate Flanders to the disco beat.
Homer/Byrne: He's your perky, peppy, nightmare neighborino!
If you despise polite left-handers,
Homer/Byrne/Flanders: Then I doubt you'll like Ned Flanders
Or his creepy little offspring, Rod and Todd.
Todd: That's us!
Rod: Hooray!

Audience: F-L-A,
Apu: His name is Ned,
Audience: E-R-S,
Apu: He is so white bread,
Choir: A smiling moustache geek who walks with God!