I've just had a horrible conversation with my boyfriend. I feel pretty much like a piece if shit now. How does he do this? He always turns things the way he is fucking saint and I'm good for nothing. Tons of accuses, resentment and hurt yet again. I'm sick of this crap! Why don't things work out for us? Some people think it's so romantic and interesting. Well it's not. If you think so too you're an idiot, no offence. Sometimes I wanna give up and let it all go to hell, but I can't. I can not do it. I must move on and on and on. Life is so uneasy, now I do understand it. I must find the strength inside. But I feel like I'm already emptied and when I look inside I see nothing but fear and pain. I feel that I'm broken but I can not find the broken part to fix it. I remember myself five years ago. I was WAAAYS more energetic than I am now. Where did it go? You know, I feel that I have a split somewhere and there's a leakage of something very important. And if I don't find a way to patch it up and fill myself back I will disappear.