I`ve never really thought one could get frustratred by only few words said by an ex-boyfriend while appointing a meeting. Such a shame... I`ve never really thought I would ever be used by a man with all that tender affection rowards him. All that stuff..that really sucks.. and that`s really annoying. I`ve never really thought of all that stuff and it suddenly occurred to me I`ve become not a person of value, but a person of sexual usage!!! That really seems complicated enough to put it just in two or three complex sentences, but, unfortunately, that`s simply impossible! That`s not the thing to fill up the mind but still that`s rather offending...unfortunately for me only! Not all the people come to realise there`re thing and deeds unlikely to do towards others...and again that`s not the thing I wanted to write.. I don`t what the hell I`m doing right now.. What`s happened?? I don`t know...
-You`ve got a strange voice.
-Strange??? What`s strange about it???
-You sound like a bitch now.. You`re not that little girl with those plaits and shining face!
-You haven`t seen me for 3 months!!! Why a bitch???
-I don`t know...you`ve got a voice which has a lot of in common with a bitch` voice...
But why am I a bitch??? Why am I the person yo always call to to have sex with?? Why do you get offended when being denied?? Why do you want me to suck ur cock once or twice a year when you don`t have a girlfriend...
I had a sleepless night. I don`t want to go out. I see no safe place, I see no man to give into, I see no point in living like this. Am I the lsat person to fall in love with??? Am I so bad??? I need a guide...I need support...Is that going to end with engless depression once again??? Am I to attempt suicide???
So any AM`s... So many questions...so many problems to deal with...How can I throw them away into my waste-basket??? I`ve never really thought one could get frustratred by only few words said by an ex-boyfriend while appointing a meeting. I`ve never felt so realistic and sure of suicide...How come???