В колонках играет - propaganda - okean
Настроение сейчас - FEELING LIKE DIRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what do you know about pain???

i wish i could remove that part of my heart that hurts... i could leave the rest.. let it keep beating, keeping me alive, eventhough, at this moment i have never felt so dead...
so let me rip it out, let it be dead... so i can live... so i can breathe without my chest wanting to cave in... please... let me rip it out... so i can just forget about him.

i really hate myself now... im crying about feelings all the time and then acting like a bitch to people i care for... what is that about? fuck it. bastian was right when he said that my life is fucked up... i shouldn't even be here... im so sorry... bitch! i mean, how can i tell people that their life is pathetic? im the most pathetic person i know... sometimes i feel like i have no place in this world... maybe i deserve to suffer... i mean, bitches like me should die or something... hide, and never go out to the big wide world. not like anyone wants to see me there... and even if im wrong, i dont deserve people's company... i am a bad person... ruining people's lives, destroying relationships... and it's killing me, ripping me apart to pieces... im dead emotionally, should die phisically as well, and then everything will be just fine. the world will be happier without me. but i can' t do that. the only person who stops me from killing myself is my mom... i can't do that to her, though, every day i care less about it...

" yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away..."