it was mere day. today guys turned back from the CCX camp in Crimea. i've met them. they said that it was really cool camp. they said about Rita and Alena that they were incredible: cool, but hard. that's in their style. there were 10 people from Lugansk. now Lugansk is kind of Champion. Praise Lord. that's His incredible and unbelieveble work in our city. i hope that these people now understand the meaning of student's movement and they will help us to make a fish week and i hope that this year will be more fruitful for our city than last one...

then i had a great conversation with Anya. oh. i just told her about my letter to Ann from Belorussia. i have wrote something about friendship. i wrote a lot of different thoughts about friends and friendship at all. Anya wrote that friends can cheat us, or hurt us, or when we want to help them, they can think, how to take something that they need from us, and even if we want to give our live for them they can kill us. ok. these all are only images, i understand. sure, we all are people and we can cheat one another, or we can lie, or something else. i don't want to think about my friends like about somebody that can cheat me, hurt me, or do something evil for me...

i think that something that we call "feelings" are not "feelings" at all. that's better to use word "emotions" to explain this image. and i want to understand the "decisions" under the word "feelings". something eternal, or quite long, when i say that "i will love, or i wil have a relations with this man"...

also i think that only we can be a friend for somebody, and never we can be sure that somebody is our friend. althought i can call somebody "friend". friends are the people whom i love and for who i've made a dicision that i will be with them for whole my life.

it was quite a hard day. now, when i can understand the friendsip, i have a key for people. how to find myself now? i don't know this. but it will be easy for me if i will be with God.

now something about Lena K. i don't know, what had happend between us, but it looks like that's all right, but i feel a barier to talk with her. i don't know, why, but that's it. i don't want to spend a time with her. i know, that she is good person and that's all right with her and that we were good friends for each other. it was time when i refused to look at the people like on the book, but now i think that people are like books. at first we see only the cover, then we see the table of content, then something deeper, and then we can read this book and... then.. that's end... something happens... but i think that it will be all right. i just need some time for imaginations, mabye, without her.