Why is it so hard to understand how to live and what to do? Why can’t I make myself walk my own way. I know what I want, but something happens and… Failure of the brain power. Just emotions are important.
I can’t stand critics. I can’t stand making me feel ashamed. Aggression comes out of me. I become very vulnerable. It hearts. But what can I do? My position is to stay away, but when I want to interfere it’s the worse time for it! I am a looser. But I just don’t want to believe it!
I am very weak. I can’t do anything. My decisions are usually incorrect. I choose the least possible variant.
But the only thing I really want is to be with HIM. Not with the guy I had, but with the imagined person. I know everything about him and nothing exactly. He always comes when I want it. He is my egoistic dream. He’s coming through my life, but never stops at any point. We have nothing to discuss because each of us knows everything that knows the other. Complete consent. No misunderstanding.. The only problem is the impossibility of implying his character into life.
What I feel is the world itself. So it is a kind of a reality for me. It is the real life and all the rest is imaginary.
I WANT TO BELIEVE!!!