The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
be the official language of the European nation rather than German that was
the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty''s Government
conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has
accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
the sivil servants jump with joy.The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of
the "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less
letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a
deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the
silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
"z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from
vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil
sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil
find it ezi tu understand ech oza.
Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. If zis mad yu smil, ples pas it
on to oza pepl.