Wrote some letters today. Only one person I trust enough to deliver them if they're ever needed, but at the moment I don't think I can ask that. I probably will anyway. Once again, on my own, cold, lonely, wanting company but scared to go out and find it in case I get hurt by the people I want to have around. Rapidly losing my mind, keep on seeing people when I wake up, people I know aren't there, but can see and hear and feel right there next to me.

One of the people I saw this morning is dead. I'm sure I'm losing my mind. I'm not sure what I'm going to tell the counsellor tomorrow. I don't want to be shut away, but at the same time I do just want to be kept safe from everyone, including myself, and no one else is capable of doing that for me, or willing, except for professionals. I don't know what I'll do if they do try to take me away. I hope that if they do, I don't hurt anyone. My life's fucked up enough as it is without having to fall back on an insanity plea to escape jail.

I don't know where I'm going, or what I'm doing. All I know is that I'm tired, too tired, weary of everything and just about ready to give in and go to sleep . But I can't.

Fed up of being me, don't know how to be anyone else without help, and anyone who could help has too many problems of their own as it is.
Bunny