The man walked over to the perfume counter and told the clerk he would like a bottle of Christian Dior for his wife's birthday.
"A little surprise eh?" said the clerk.
"You bet," replied the man. "She is expecting a cruise."

* * *
Harry and Esther are out shopping one morning when Esther says, "Darling, it's my mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? She said she would like something electric." Harry replies, "How about a chair?"

* * *
"Doctor!" complained the patient; "I keep seeing spots before my eyes."
The doctor scratched his head. "Why have you come to me? Have you seen an ophthalmologist?"
"No," replied the patient, "just spots."

* * *
Mr. Johnson was overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
He said; "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least five pounds."
When Mr. Johnson returned, he shocked the doctor by having dropped almost twenty pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor told him. "You did this just by following my instructions?"
The slimmed down Mr. Johnson nodded. "I'll tell you, though, I though I was going to drop dead that third day."
"From hunger, you mean."
"No," replied Mr. Johnson, "from skipping."

LI 3.9.25