over and out...
19-02-2007 01:10
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... I finally broke up with her. Finally... ultimately
with her, with my Love, with my Life
I loved her more than anybody in this world
It was over long ago actually, but I still had a great Hope, feeded and supported by love
She didn't discourage me
She was happy to see me that last time, when I went 300 kilometers to spend with her one evening, one night and one morning
Finally I made her confess that she never actually loved me
She doesn't love me now. She has her boyfriend. She says she loves him... - what a lucky guy. And he even doesn't know how lucky he is
Unfair, unjust...
I'm destroyed, I'm so empty... I am just a black hole in this small universe of this nice town
There are people around me. Neighbours in the flat next door, above me, below
Whole city lives its life around me
Sunday evening, people are busy with their lives
And in the middle of this city there's a small black hole - my empty heart
It's filled with vacuum, horrifying, boundless
Universe in universe
I'm just nothing, nobody,
I don't wanna do anything
I can't move
I can't talk
I don't wanna live, it's painful
But I don't wanna kill myself, cause it's an effort
I don't want no effort
Because moving makes you feel that you are living. Moving makes me feel pain
Pain in my sole, in the place where there was a heart before and now- there's just a tiny but enormous black hole
One hour of exchanging with SMSs. I didn't pick up the phone when she tried to call me.
I don't wanna speak with her.
I can't.
She's just killed me...
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