Читаю "Понедельник" на английском и ржу:

"While I was lying under the car, dripping oil on my person, old Naina Kievna become most unctious and friendly, twice approaching me to take her to Bald Mountain.
"They tell me, governor, that it's bad for a car to stand still," she cooed in her creaky voice, peering under the front bumper. "They say it's good for it to drive it around. And have no fear, I'd make sure to pay..."
I was not inclined to drive to Bald Mountain. In the first place, my friends could show up any minute. In the second place, the old woman was even more distasteful to me in her cooing version that in her snarling mode. Further, it developed that it was ninety versts one way to Bald Mountain, and when I asked the old lady about the condition of the road, she joyfully told me not to worry - that it was quite smooth, but that in case of any trouble, she would push it out herself. ("Don't assume that I am plain old, governor; I am still quite vigorous.") After the first unsuccessful assault, the crone retreated temporarily and went off into the cottage. At which point Basil the tomcat came to visit me under the car. For a long minute, he watched my manipulations and then enunciated in a low voice, but very clearly, "I don't advise it, citizen, mn-e-eh... I don't advise it. You'll be eaten," after which he departed precipitately, tail a-quiver. I wanted badly to be very careful, and so when the crone launched her second attack, I demanded fifty rubles, so as to put an end to the game once and for all. She desisted at once, regarding me with fresh respect."

После сдачи всех хвостов надо будет на русском перечитать. Эпик же.