#1
A man comes into the ER and yells "My wife's going to have her baby in
the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's
dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that
there are several cabs, and I was in the wrong one

#2
At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and
slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I
instructed. "Yes, they used to be," remorsed the patient.

#3
During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his
cardiologist, he informed his doctor that he was having trouble with
one of his medications. "Which one?", asked the doctor. "The patch.
The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm
running out of places to put it!" The doctor had him quickly undress
and discovered what he hoped he wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over
fifty patches on his body! Now the instructions include removal of the
old patch before applying a new one.

#4
I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity
test. placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover
your right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now
your left." Again, a flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was
silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned
and discovered that e had done exactly what I had asked; he was
standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to
finish the exam.