Today was a difficult day for me. First, I missed my scheduled duty because I was confused about the timing. I mistakenly thought I was supposed to be there at 9:30 when it was actually 9:00. For a brief moment, I felt glad to have a bit more time to myself, but in reality, it made me 30 minutes late. Thankfully, I have a supportive friend who covered for me. I’m really grateful for her help.

The late start was partly due to a late night—I was working online with my professor to edit a translation, and I couldn't get to sleep until 1 a.m. As a result, I woke up at the last minute. I had planned to get up at 8:00 or 8:15 but ended up sleeping until 8:30. I was supposed to leave home by 8:15 to be on time, but I rushed and somehow arrived at the university just five minutes before 9, even I washed my hair in just three minutes. I didn’t expect to make it in time, and maybe I drove faster than usual.

Before heading to my duty, I quickly put on some makeup to look fresh, hoping no one would realize I’d only just woken up. But just as I was about to go, I realized my phone was missing. I frantically searched my bag but couldn’t find it. Feeling disorganized and upset, I remembered the last time I used it was in my car. Ten minutes before my duty, I went to check the car, and on the way, I ran into my friend. I explained I was rushing to be on time, but she told me I was already late. That’s when I fully realized just how unprepared I’d been. Thankfully, I found my phone in the car, but it felt like a disaster.

All of this made me feel unhappy with myself. I know I haven’t been organized lately, and I’m struggling with life—or maybe just with myself. I feel weak and broken, as if my health isn’t where it should be. I’m constantly tired, and it feels almost chronic. I want to do better but can’t shake this sense of exhaustion.

In the past, I tried keeping a diary to stay organized, but my nonstop routine makes it hard to keep up with it. I can hardly remember where I last left it, so if I find even one free minute, I jot down notes to avoid forgetting important things. Yet, even with the diary, I struggle. I often forget to check it, reread it, or see what’s done because I’m buried under a pile of new tasks and duties.

My friend told me this morning that I was late and had already covered for me, which touched me deeply. It’s a true example of friendship, and I am so thankful to have her. Yet, I feel deeply disappointed in myself. I can’t help but wonder if this is just a “human factor”—a reminder of how imperfect I am.

#Struggles #RealLife #Friendship #Gratitude #OrganizingLife #SelfReflection #ChronicFatigue #LearningCurve #ImperfectlyHuman #FindingBalance