Настроение сейчас - correct

Tomorrow will be the day like yesterday, like day two days ago. everything the same, not interesting and boring. Imagine life, which consists of such days only. Imagine life without adventures. I mean small troubles, that can happen with anyone. You'll say: "Oh, it's my blue dream! It's so wonderful, dear!". I' ll answer: "Отсоси!". I hate people, who loves calm, if it's not before storm. I hate people, who look like idiots with stupid optimistic smile, if they have never known they'll die tomorrow.
I'm afraid to kill my life sitting on work from 9am to 6pm. I'm afraid I'll become old, ugly and fat. My husband will fuck young girl, the same age as our daughter. No sex and freedom. Only work, evenings with kitchen or drinking with friends, whose husbands're fucking young girls or boys... Of course you believe this is not your story, and everything will be ok with you! You'll see the world, your children become beautiful and grateful... May be so. And I also believe. If you really want it. But when you'll be 40 years old and ask a lot of questions: why I'm here, who I am really, why I lost my chance to be young and free - it will be late to stand up and go away..
I want to feel a shame, to make mistakes, to hate, to leave my emotions, to cry, to fight, to be with anyone I want, to understand everything I do, to speak with everyone I like, to have big problems and solve them, not to be dependent of social opinion, to love my job, to find my love...