Still has a kind of evening melancholy that bothers me a lot. I'm feeling so worthless, and, unfortunately, it's not just emotions, that's quite true. No achivements, no success, no even dreams and ambitions. Hope i'll handle this in future.

I remember when i was about twelve years old i understood that avoiding this world and just running away in my own world of dreams, which was much more friendly to me, wasn't very good idea. I thought that i might have become mad, and now i think i was a сlever thought, actually. Remember i was crying because i forced myself to forget everything about the nice world where i used to hide from reality. I wondered, how people manage to become adult if it's so painful. Now i see how. It's not painful to become an adult, it's painful to keep being a child when you're ready to leave a childhood. Difficult to explain... It's like when you have a lot of power but don't use it.

Empty thoughts, absolutely empty. I tried to remember what this day taught me, but i failed. I just want to think about such silly things like how night influence on me and on others, how people make their choices, why i'm not a cat, because i'm not allowed to walk at the night and they are, about the fact i can't live without people despite the fact i don't really like them, how people invented the Gods and about other stuff.