I am too weak and I hate myself too much. Maybe that's why I'm not able to love anymore or I wasn't able ever. And I can do nothing. Preteding is of no use. "People want to be missed". That's true, I want it a lot but I don't appreciate it at the same time. I am just sick of my stupidity, I repeat the same thing over and over again. Where is the end? How to stop it? Am I on the right path now? My miracle, please, come sooner.