Hi. Count is as some sort of a protest but from now on I'm gonna express myself in English. These are the dark times and I don't wanna sound pathetic here. I was wondering if any of you out there who sometimes dig into that diary are truly interested in what I am and what I'm not any more. They say that resources like that are for miserable people who can share their pain with emptiness of the web. We'll I'm not miserable, I'm just lost. I don't understand people these days. Maybe I'm too old to live with my parents. Maybe this whole thing with "the band" is a silly and naive act. And the university stuff, the shit's enough for me. All I ever wanted is to communicate with people, to create something out of nothing and now I'm like a worked out mine - left lone and empty. They say, hey, Mozzy, cheer up, we're here we'll help you. But all they ever do is talk and criticize and blame me of some sort of things like "wow dude, when are we going to have a gig again?" or like "oh dude I forgot to do that" or "I though you told me it was that way" as if I was an idiot. This shit pisses me off. Sometimes I get sick of doing something with these people. It is going nowhere and both bands are doomed because these are no real bands. These are two groups of people playing together and pretending to be friends but when the sky turns grey there are two guys left who can pass me a bottle and truly listen to my shit. Both of them don't play with me. One of them ages ago and quite sincerely told me that he could play with me if I wanted but he was too lazy and preferred to just hang around and the other one is just miles away. I'm sick of these bands. We'll I'm sick of the whole direction my life follows. I jut don't wanna care of the stuff I'm forced to worry about now. I am the master of my own life. Why can't they realize that I need some time for my own. I need someone to help carry on the shit I do. I can't be the whole band it's just too tough for me. I'm no Tom Gable. Not that talented. The demo CD I'm going to record may become my last record ever. That's it. Why should I drag someone up? Especially those who just don't want to swim and those who want prefer to stay at home and play silly PC games? I'm dreaming of buying myself a good acoustic guitar and a harmonica and making some sort of low key stuff like Rumbleseat and Tim's or Chuck's solo stuff. Counting on no one but myself.

There's not much fun left and it's going down quickly. We're gonna miss two following rehearsals. What can I say? People start to realise the whole uselessness of the thing. So what. I don't wanna write and play those songs eather. Not anymore. I can't hear the music. Can you still hear the music? Hahaha

Write something on your own. Listen to some good punk bands. That's all I ask. Maybe if the melody is good enough I can contribute some lyrics and vocals. I'm sick of making things on my own. I'm tired.

Stop talking shit behind my back,
Mozzy