27.05.09 (Papa's photos)

Amber Pacific is playing.

Hello, Evan.
Hello, John.
How are you? What is u doing right now? How much time is it?
I’m still hopelessness, dude. I’m listening music right now and want some tea with night sandwiches. There is 1.24am on the clock. The 28 of May already. Rah…
Oh… So deeply in night. You don’t wanna sleep?
Yeah. I slept a bit at the evening after study.
You have study today? Wow! Amazing!
What? Why?
You weren’t at university for a long time, butt-head.
Oh, that’s true. It couldn’t be forever and without penalties.
So how it was? Like in a first time, yeah?
You are right. So many known faces… So many known places… So well known sadness… We sat at one lesson only. I paint a nude girl of my dreams – my Leaf again, but Van corrupts it. He adds a penis to her beautiful body. Fucking bastard. Now I couldn’t bring a picture on my wall.
Did u saw “her”?
Now, bless the God. No one of them.
Still thinking about?
Of crazy course. Day dream + evening thoughts about life was cross-examine with “her”.
Okay, so, let this go away. Change the topic. What was after lessons?
Wow, the rain began right now! Tears of deep dark sky drops on my window-sill and “kaboom-badaboom”… Rah… So… After lesson we went for a food. It was bakes and orange juice. Also we were together with Jarick a little. After we went to north market for a Van’s new helmet. Nothing special. Honesty…
Nothing special but better then home-sitting, isn’t it?
Right.
Played drums?
Nope.
Wrote a book?
Nope.
What does u want right now so much?
Oh… Hard question. It should be only one thing?
Whatever.
Oh… Let’s think… I guess you await answer about NeeDLe in my bed, or Yellowgamo fairy-tale?
Maybe yes.
Nope.
Wow, so what?
An answer.
You want an answer?
Yeah!
What question, Evan?
In what “He” is better then me, moreover then in a sex?
Oh…
Rah… Sounds crazy, but this is the meaning of my life I think.
To know the answer someday?
Right. Someday I will meet her again and ask it. Why? What for? For what? And how I deserve it? It will be funny.
I need to say one thing - We always talks about her. Hah!
Oh, it’s true. What can I do…?
Nothing. It’s not irritating me. You may say whatever you want, I’m just you. But your depression getting stronger after every one word about your happy dreamful past, dude.
So we need to turn in TDWP. Now… And change the topic again. I’m still reading DeathNote. Surprisingly smart and breathtaking manga! I like it very much. Full relax and enjoy… Yeah. Wanna hairstyles like “L” have. My hairs are shit and I’m ugly freak with it. HATE SUMMER! I’m so cute at spring and winter, and autumn… And so ugly in summer… Hate! Rah…
Kim and Richard are having sex on the TV. Look!
You made me laugh! Ha-ha! I’ve already forgot what is sex. Ha-ha! And don’t want to remember.
Bullshit!
Ha-ha! Yeah… But… But shut up! Ha-ha!
Our favorite song is playing.
Yes. Let me enjoy it.
Okay, I’m going home.
Bye.
Bye.
Be carefully!
U2.

Goodnight diary.
I pray my dreams come true.
I pray, I pray, I pray