Peg: What did he make you for dinner?
Bud: Marshmallows.
Peg: Where's the dog?
Bud: He's out barfing marshmallows. It
looks like a winter out there.

**********

Al: Did I tell you kids I love you today?
Bud:: No, dad.
Al: Think about that on the way upstairs.

**********

Bud (to Kelly): When's mom and dad gonna
realize you're stupid and leave you alone.

**********

Kelly: Mom, when I grow up I want to be just like you. I want to do nothing, I want to be nothing.

**********

Al: Sorry, Peg, I didn't hear you. I was thinking
of killing myself.

**********

Al: What a life. Can't eat, can't sleep, can't bury
the wife in the back yard!

**********

I love your hooters,
I love your ass,
Let's say we meet after class
(Al's High School Valentine poem for Peggy)