the whole story today was created by me. it was really hard to start the lie. but its the only way to save me from future pain. you cause a lot of pain, losses and so on. i should stop it, but i don' wanna hurt you, so im lying as gentle as possible. you still never say - i love you, only additions or smthng similar to the meaning. nothing changed. its easier for u to come to my house than bring me to urs, though u know i have lots of troubles after. you never think about my university...how many times i asked to help me - 0.
but i love you. no matter what. im idiot i know.
i wont tell ever the whole story coz it can hurt, but i cant like this anymore. u should live like u got used to, its ok, exept me. im not ur Ex, about who u speak to much, she is probably the one who knows u better and who still loves u. think about it.

if u decide "no" - i will leave, missing u, but with a hope to survive.
if u decide to stay - i dunno what to do really with all my pain love thoughts. don't wanna leave u, but need time to believe.

p.s. sorry