Если ты хочешь быть счастливой, ты ей будешь!

Да, так и есть... просто, порой забываешь об этом...
но хорошо, что всё-таки бывают такие моменты в жизни, когда тебе об этом напоминают...

i wanna stay in a dream for a while...i wanted...but he kicked me out of there yesterday...and now i'm sleepless...screw that.
you HAVE TO be happy. you know that. prove yourself what you can...and have to me. don't let anyone kick you out of your perfect dream!....

ps. prove that for me....may be i'll start to belive in that too...in happiness...

Grotesque_vie, Don't give up! You don't need me to prove you anything, you know that!
We are masters of our oun lives!
And no one has the right to kick us out and make us drop our dreams...
Lin, both of us, we are freeks, and I meen that in a good way... we can't let anyone rob us of that...
Hold on! Everything will turn out ok... I know it! It just has to!
Love ya, miss ya!

Roselin_Courde, i'm not a builder..i'm a destroyer of my...and only my life...i'm sick of myself...
i'm tired. i'm too wick to survive...

I know the feeling... but that's such bullshit... frogive me my language... Lin, you and I both know that if we were that weak then we both would have jumped of a building, hung ourselves or something like that but we didn't and I don't think that we will...
it's just life Lin, you know that as well as I do... and being sick and tired is a big part of it for some idiotic reason.
We made it up to this point, to me it means something... call me stupid or naive but that's just the way I am...
right now I am also sick as hell of my life, me and most of all of ceeping everything to myself, but there's no other way...
if I am still alive and breathing than it means that I should be...
though I have to admit I do think about the easy way out but I know that that would just make me an even bigger looser in this game...

Roselin_Courde, i know, we won't do anything stupid like suiside...it's not the way out, i can't do,now i have clear reasons not even think about that...
i've started my antidepressant again...i struggled for 4 months...and i can't cry every time on my thoughts or...songs...or whatever...i'm not a crybaby...but i feel like one.
now i'm fine...i know it's not me...i don't have emotions either...i just...i don't have life...i don't feel it...i just exist...
i'll be fine...so will you)) it's just lame time...

Grotesque_vie, Everything is in our heands Lin, we just have to use it! I hope that someday I will be able to look at everything I am going through right now and be able to look back on everything as on an imporant lesson in my life...
And I know that you wiil be able to do the same )
I am trying to get help from a psychologist right now myself.... I mean I am not visiting regilarly but I've talke with my ex-psychology teacher and she agreed to have sessions with me...