I've got a confession to make. Or should i say confessions, anyways. All these in not any particular order, but i still put them in some list, i think.

- All i want now is to meet some girl to fuck. But i don't want fuck just to satisfy urges that i'm not used to get satisfaction. In other words, i suck at life, just by first and most important thing, in some way. So this girl, she doesn't has to be ideal, but she certanly has to be somewhat similar in the way of thinking, just that, a little bit of that. And she has to be beatiful enough, that through combinations of sex and our little bit of mind simillarities we will like each other a lot. And this is so FUCKING impossible. Fuck urges, fuck me, one time i got this close to all that, and it was ruined. And now i want more, fuck fuck fuck.

- I have disseases. They expanding on my mental set, making it all even worse. I'm know at least some of it, but i'm so scared to go to hospital, i'm so scared to waste money that don't belong to me, i'm scared that people nerby me - my family, friends, will judge me anyway, they will know i have problems. And it's getting worse. I'm sick, i need help, and i can't get myself into it. I think about someday soon my body will broke, and i have to put myself to hospital in pain and pieces, after monts of healing i'll become malfunction, my body will become. I'm scared. I've got so many problems in my head.

I've got so many problems in my head. I'm scared, that's why whole thing is on bad english. I'm scared to hell, but i can't let myself to show it even a bit. I have no will for a life, i suck at it. And i want to comeback from it, happy and joyful. I'm suck, i'm suck.