...кому,знать только мне...ошибок много)


I miss you, my darling. I remember your words, which were awful... And I remeber the beautiful words... Why have you done my life so sad? Do you feel anything to me? Yes, I think so... if you hadn't felt anything, your eyes would have said that. I don't trust your words, I don't trust your hands, but I trust your eyes... Eyes can't lie... I don't know. what's happenning with you now, what you are doing without me. But when I'm near you are always with me. Earlier I didn't understand that, but since the time we met and knew each other, you've always been with me... You're the one who didn't leave me. When I was strange, little, full, weak sad and angry or when I was beautiful, strong and funny. You were always with me.
Sometimes (or maybe almost always) you didn't understand me, my feelings, my thoughts, my dreams and all that I did. I think, you'll never understand it. But I understood all about you. I knew, what you do next minute or next day. Once you said:"We are the same. You know me like nobody else. I love you because you are the best girl I've ever known. You love the life, you love all the people around you. There's no thing which can make you sad or disappear. And you are very strong. You can reach any aim you want."
But, my darling you were wrong. As I said before you haven't understood me. Never. "You love life" - yes. but sometimes it makes me feel disappear. "You are very strong" - yes, but you make me weak. I try to show that I don't feel anything to you, that you mean nothing in my life, that I'm strong. But you don't know that sometimes at night I cry. The girl "who is always laughing" cries.
At our last evening I said that it was all. That I want to finish our relations. That it is a point. And I believed that. But now i understand that I lied. First of all - to myself. I thought, that you didn't believe me. i thought that you won't remember my words. But you remember... Sorry...

Now i don't know what I feel. And I don't know what you feel. But... whatever... I want to be with you... Maybe... But most of all I want you to be happy. Very happy. And I want to be happy too...
I want us to be happy...
Together or not...