Thoughts...they gather into uncertain piles and begin crashing into each other everytime I think about him. And as a rule they cannot be expressed aloud. That's why feeling of smth unsaid, undone, unsolved is all the time with me. "It doesn't hurt when I don't think about him" and the best way is not to do so. But the matter is that I keep thinking about him...well, not all the time, but at least a definite part of it. It's like a thunder in a clear sky, it can change the moment, influence my behaviour and it's smth I'm dependent on. But it's the thing of the past and its worth understanding. And I miss him...and I'd better did not 'cause I've got to get a move on with ma life. Anyway, it's time to be a big girl now and big girls don't cry or look back. And I wish he were my friend.
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