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20-02-2008 15:28
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goastswe: hi
me: hi
goastswe: it was a long time since we talked
me: how have u been?
goastswe: fine, and you?
Sent at 2:50 PM on Wednesday
me: more or less ok
goastswe: so how is your job
me: it sucks
i hate it
goastswe: so change it
me: lol
thank you for the advice
i could even think about it
now i now what to do
goastswe: life is easy anyway ![]()
/mail.google.com/mail/im/emotisprites/smile.png" target="_blank">http://mail.google.com/mail/im/emotisprites/smile.png)" height="12" alt="[smile]" src="http://mail.google.com/mail/images/cleardot.gif" width="13" />
me: life isok
if you dont let people to fuck your brain
goastswe: they fucked my brain for along time ago, so it is fucked up alreay ![]()
/mail.google.com/mail/im/emotisprites/tongue.png" target="_blank">http://mail.google.com/mail/im/emotisprites/tongue.png)" height="12" alt="[tongue]" src="http://mail.google.com/mail/images/cleardot.gif" width="13" />
me: interesting
I just realized
if someone is a victim of phisical rape it could be because of his/her victim behaviour
than same could be applicable to the brain
hm...
goastswe: true, but not necessory
me: tell me
goastswe: what?
me: why do u think so
goastswe: i belive that anyone can be stronger than let his behaviuors to control him
me: do you know that your behaviour is determined by instinct on 90 per cent and only on 10 per cent by consious
fucking the brain is something absolutely beyond the instincts though
goastswe: i knew something about it, but i didnt knew those amounts
me: ok
goastswe: do you study psychology or something like that?
me: I studied it at University
goastswe: and what was your major?
me: Management
goastswe: aha
interesting
me: very interesting
goastswe: so how is it going with you?????
me: what exactly?
goastswe: life!!
me: as I told you - it's ok until you prevent some unintended activities with your brain
in this case with mine
Sent at 3:05 PM on Wednesday
goastswe: so what happened with you?
me: nothing
I'm just tired of people trying either to change me or behaviouring unpredictably
both ruins my brain
and I seems too nice that they are trying to do it
i am just polite to say in voice that they have to go to hell
goastswe: so dont be polite for 1 time, and tell them ti get the fuck out of your head
to**
me: well, I can not really say it to some people
to my sister or to my boss
I said it to one of my dates recently
he was honestly surprised why did I say it - he thought he is doing a great thing helping me to become better
but to be better from his point of view and from mine are two different things
Sent at 3:10 PM on Wednesday
goastswe: that was hard situation
me: it was ok
goastswe: good
me: I just understood that I better stay away from this kind of people
goastswe: dont ever let stress controls you
Sent at 3:12 PM on Wednesday
me: I am much more advanced stress controller now than I used to be ![]()
/mail.google.com/mail/im/emotisprites/smile.png" target="_blank">http://mail.google.com/mail/im/emotisprites/smile.png)" height="12" alt="[smile]" src="http://mail.google.com/mail/images/cleardot.gif" width="13" />
thank you for support
goastswe: you are welcome, so how are you controling it?? cause i am a bad stress controller those days
Sent at 3:14 PM on Wednesday
me: depends on what happend with you
goastswe: life and job are stressing me
me: well - phisical excersices, alcohol and cooking help me pretty much
reducing food and enough of sleep
that's what I do fo rmyself
goastswe: i do it as well, but it is not helpfull all the time
me: yes, you have to change stress-reducing activities otherwise they stop working at some moment
medicine also helps, but I had a bad expereince with it - now trying to avoid it
goastswe: i heard it is bad
me: well, it is not THAT bad - I had a herbal mixture, but I overdosed it - I felt really bad
also talking to some people helps me - to someone who supports me no matter what, disregarding of my strenghts and weaknesses
mom, friends (very-very few - a couple) or admirers (but they are dangerous - they are supporting you only until they see an interest in you ![]()
/mail.google.com/mail/im/emotisprites/smile.png" target="_blank">http://mail.google.com/mail/im/emotisprites/smile.png)" height="12" alt="[smile]" src="http://mail.google.com/mail/images/cleardot.gif" width="13" /> so you have to manage it)
I had a very, very stressful day, I cryed, I had drank a medicine and it didnt help, so I send an sms to my friend, who lives in Canada now
she replyed immediately and after a couple of messages I felt much better
and she was pregnant and I knew she had toxicos, but anyway, she took my problems close to her heart
sorry, I talk too much
goastswe: no i like it
me: hm ![]()
/mail.google.com/mail/im/emotisprites/wink.png" target="_blank">http://mail.google.com/mail/im/emotisprites/wink.png)" height="12" alt="[wink]" src="http://mail.google.com/mail/images/cleardot.gif" width="13" />
maybe it is just because I dont have an opportunity to talk in real life
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