here it comes.i can't take high, i'm just trying to take it slowly..everything is too difficult for me...i'm just a kid and i have so many troubles.i can't live in a such situations.i 'm not ready for these everything.but i can't stop the moving,terrible rush of my life, it's impossible!it's really impossible.why everything so hard?may be it's just too late and i can't go back?may be everything, all my childhood has already been lost?i don't believe that it's all over...i don't believe that's it is the end.i want to be a little baby. i wanna play toys.i just want to be a child. i'm not ready for everithing that is happening with me. i of course understand that it is my fate, but thisway is too hard for me.too hard. so the question is: am i ready or not...i think, that not, but God thinks in other way...meanings are dispersing...