Сан_Мей, it is better to ask - what for... Life... Now it is not worth living. What to do with it? Notyhing... To overcome the sufferings and temptations of life and to live again... This begining won't be the first. It will be the 1.000.000-th... And everything will return, will be the same and... There is no way out. Can you imagine? THERE IS NO WAY OUT!!!! At all... It doesn't sound as scareful as the meaning in understanding does...
Sometimes you must be have some problems..but without their we hvnt a chance to live our life that or what we'll want..and you become more stronger..I have a difficult time..but i know it must be the sign for me to have a new life..which will be more beautiful and sweet than noow