Жаргон падонков - Scumbag’s slang
UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Афтар (subst. m.) [aftar]
Author, deformation of “автор”. Alternate orthography: аффтар. The author is usually the writer of an internet post (in a blog or on a forum).
• Аффтар жжот [afftar žžët]: the author rules, one of the highest sign of respect and widely used appreciative comment. In proper Russian it should read: “автор зажигает” (i.e. the author sets on fire).

Албанский (adj., m.) [albanskij]
Although the initial meaning is “Albanian”, this has come to mean Russian language in general or the present slang in particular. The origin of this new meaning is the naive ignorance of an American livejournal user confronted with a script he could not read (Russian). Eventually he was told to “learn Albanian” and the sentence учи албанский is now used as an invitation to people making mistakes in Russian or in this jargon.

АПВС? [APVS]
Short for “А пачиму ви спгашиваете?”, which is а почему вы спрашиваете? pronounced with a supposedly Jewish accent.

АХЗ [AXZ]
Acronym for “а хуй/хрен/хер знает”, usually given as an evasive answer with a varying level of rudeness depending on the middle word implied.

Аццкий (adj., m.) [acckij]
Derived from “адский” - poisonous. It can convey both the meaning of something which is good, strong or the opposite meaning of something bad.

Бабруйск [Babrujsk]
City in Belarus (Mogilev province), which is written that way in Belarusian but should be spelt with an o in Russian. For some reason this city, as Uryupinsk (Урюпинск), is immensely popular with internet users, most of whom have probably never been nor will ever be there. It can be found in following sentences: В Бабруйск, жывотное!, ф Бабруйск, жывотнайе. The abundant use of Bobruysk could be linked to following text by Ilf and Petrov in their book Золотой Телёнок:
“- Нашли дураков! - Визгливо кричал Паниковский. - Вы мне дайте Среднерусскую возвышенность, тогда я подпишу конвенцию.
- Как? Всю возвышенность? - заявил Балаганов. - А не дать ли тебе еще Мелитополь впридачу? Или Бобруйск?
При слове "Бобруйск" собрание болезненно застонало. Все соглашались ехать в Бобруйск хоть сейчас. Бобруйск считался прекрасным, высококультурным местом.”.

Баян (subst. m.) [bajan]
An old hat, i.e. a story which has been told many times before. Used on forums to mention the post is repeating an older one. Alternative spelling: боян, бойан, баянчег. The initial meaning of the word is “accordion ” and it is part of a joke that was published over and over again on anekdot.ru (Хоронили тёщу, порвали два баяна - we buried the mother in law and ripped apart two accordions, implying great fun in the process). There even is a smiley for this: [:]||||||||||[:] or [:]\/\/\/[:].

Бляпашлифсенахуймудаки [bljapašlifsjenaxujmudaki]
Expression of exasperation and anger with the users around. Contraction of “бля, пошли все на хуй, мудаки” (damn, go all fuck yourselves, dickheads) which is sometimes shortened as БПФНМ.

б/п [b/p]
Honestly, no kidding. Short for “без пизды”.

Данунах [danunax]
Mark of disbelief, contraction of “да ну на хуй” (well you don’t say... that cannot be).

Днивниг (subst. m.) [dnivnig]
Diary or blog, deformation of “дневник”.

Зачот (subst. m.) [začot]
Form of praise referring to university exams with two possible results - “зачет - не зачет / passed - failed”. Alternative spelling: зачод.

ЗФБ [ZFB]
High form of praise for the commented remark. Acronym of “Зи Факинг Бэст”, a transliteration from English (the fucking best).

ИМХО [IMXO]
Russian transliteration of IMHO (in my humble opinion). Sometimes explained as the acronym of “Имею Мнение Хуй Оспоришь” (meaning losely I have an opinion which you cannot contest).

Ипацца [ipacca]
Deformed spelling of “ебаться” (slang verb for intercourse or some tedious activity).

Йа [ja]
I, phonetic spelling of “я”.

Йад (subst. m.) [jad]
Poison, deformed spelling of “яд”. Usually used in the sentence Выпей йаду (drink poison) to underline one’s disagreement with the opinion of somebody else (who should therefore rather leave this vale of tear voluntarily).

Йопта [jopta]
Exclamation of surprise, also written as йопт or йобз. Derived from “ёб твою мать”.

КГ/АМ [KG/AM]
Dismissive comment on a post, stands for “креатиф гавно, афтар мудак” (the text is bullshit and the author an arse).

Кагдила [kagdila]
Deformation of “как дела?” (How do you do?).

Камент [kament]
Comment, message posted on a blog or a forum as a reply to the lead post. Correct Russian term: “комментарий”.

Криатифф [kriatiff]
Post, message of some supposed or real creative value (poetry, literature...). Derived from “креатив”. Alternate spelling: креатиф, криатиф.

Кросавчег (subst. m.) [krosavčeg]
Deformation of “красавчик” (handsome man or dandy) usually used as a slightly ironic form of praise. Alternate spelling: кросафчег.

Лытдыбр (subst. m.) [lytdybr]
Russian rendering of the Latin letters that one gets when typing in Cyrillic “дневник” on a Russian/English keyboard with the keyboard toggled to English (i.e. lytdybr).

Медвед [medved]
See “превед”.

Моск [Mosk]
Brain, derived from “мозг”. Also written мосх.

Ниасилил [niasilil]
I could not read it all, a comment usually posted after long and tedious posts. Deformation of “не осилил”. The reason why a post has not been read entirely can be explained as follows:
• Ниасилил патамушта многа букаф: I could not read it all - too many letters.
• Ниасилил патамушто вайна и мир: I could not read it because it is as long as war and peace (by L.Tolstoy).
• Ниасилил патамушта стихи: I couldn’t read it because it’s poetry.

Ниибаццо [niibacco]
Introductory request for some kindness or indulgence towards the following comment (don’t get mad right away but...). Also written as ниибадцо.

Патамушта [patamušta]
Because (as an answer whithout more explanation). Deformation of “потому что” with a supposedly funny Caucasian accent.

Пелотка (subst. f.) [pelotka]
Female lower naughty bits, by extension women in general. From “пилотка”.
• Пелотка не бритайа: bad, uninteresting (lit. unshaved pussy).
• Пелотка бритайа: good, attractive (shaved pussy).

Песдато [Pesdato]
Good, great, brilliant. Corrupted spelling of “пиздато”.

Пешы ещщо [Pešy eščščo]
Form of praise (“пиши ещё - write more”). Alternate spelling: пеши исчо, пишы ышо, писшы исчо.

Первонах [pervonax]
Dismissive name for users competing to post the first comment in blogs or forums.

Первый нах [pervyj nax]
Typical first comment to any post, underscoring that the author is the first. Probably a contraction of “первый, на хуй” (I’m first, screw you).

Плакалъ [plakal"]
(I) cried - meaning I laughed to tears. Here the deformation is a return to pre-revolution spelling with a final ъ (apparently this is also used to convey the impression of a funny sounding foreign accent). Current orthography should be “Плакал”.

Превед [preved]
Deformation of привет (“hi”) and most prominent word of this Russian internet slang (known as язык падонков - scumbag talk). The term превед is taken from a watercolor work of John Lurie (Bear Surprise) in which a brown bear shouts “surprise” at a couple having intercourse in the wild. The Russian translation gained huge popularity and the bear is now the icon of this slang. The sentence превед медвед is rather popular and a greeting between speakers/writers of the jargon. The corresponding smilies, symbolising the bear, are: Y, \o/.

Ржунимагу [ržunimagu]
Sign of amused appreciation, deformation of “ржу - не могу” (I cannot stop myself from laughing).

Рулить [rulit’]
To rule (from English), to be the best. Usually the verb is used in its English form for the third person singular (“аффтар рулз”) but in Russian for plural (“падонки рулят”). The verb рулить exists in standard Russian and means to taxi (e.g. a plane on the runway).

Сотона [sotona]
Derived from “сатана” (Satan), this word has a positive meaning, it implies a devilishly good individual. In a comment, it can be strengthened with the adjective аццкий. Аффтар — аццкей соттона! - the author is a hell of good one.

Ужос (noun, m.) [užos]
Sign of thrilling surprise, from “ужас”.

Урюпинск [urjupinsk]
Russian city of the Volgograd Region, which name is widely used as a synonym for deepest province, untouched by modern times (some people even ignore it is a real city and think of it as a fictional place). Its popularity is comparable only to that of Bobruysk.

Учаснег (subst. m.) [učasneg]
Participant, derived from “участник”.

Фигассе [Figassje]
Show of incredulity. Short for “ни фига себе”, it can sometimes be written фигасе.

Фотожоп(а) [fotožop(a)]
Ironical nickname of Photoshop (жопа - ass).

Фпесту [fpestu]
Deformation of “в пизду”.

Фтему [ftemu]
Form of praise and approval, deformation of “в тему”.

Хуяссе [xujasse]
Sign of surprise, contraction of “ни хуя себе”.