Well, August 1 is Katka's day. Nine years this year. So yesterday (which still feels like today because I'm not in bed yet) my birthday completely went out of my head and short-term memory. Thanks Nessie for reminding me to enjoy it and not let another year go to hell. And then Igor wrote on my FB wall. And any contact from him sends my mind spiralling down a path I should probably steer clear of. I should but I can't help myself. He has this power over me. I know it's wrong so I'm definitely not gonna act on it ever. I never did all those years ago, so what's the point now. Still, a girl can windowshop right? It's not like it matters to him, he's a seasoned performer and must have seen worse cases of fangirling in his day. Ohh, you know what'd be a great birthday present? A dream about him. A sweet wet dream for a pathetic squishy-around-the-edges looser with no personal or professional life is not too much to ask, is it?