Moi lubimie momenti iz 7x14-First Date
OCHEN SMESHNO,OSOBENNO S AKTERAMI.

1)GILES
It was, uh, extraordinary good luck, of course. And—and, uh, training—years of training. Chao-Ahn, keep up. You're new here, Chao-Ahn, so take note. Remember about training. But I honestly feel the largest part of it was instinct. Instinct and-and reflexes. There's a sort of wary watchfulness I've developed over the years. It's like another sense—

From out of nowhere, someone attacks Giles, knocking him to the ground. It's Spike.

BUFFY
(worried) Spike!

(simultaneously)
GILES SPIKE
Hey! Hey!
You're not in pain. You're not the First.

GILES
What?

SPIKE
Anya said you were the First. Said you were evil. You're supposed to be all go-through-able. (stands, walks to Buffy's side)

GILES
(stands) Then what the hell did you tackle me for, you berk? What's that supposed to do?

SPIKE
I, uh, I didn't think of that.

GILES
More importantly, you just hit me. Why didn't your chip go off?

SPIKE
(looks down) Yeah, well...

BUFFY
Well, uh, when we were at the Initiative... (looks at Spike)

SPIKE
(looks at Buffy) There was a choice.

BUFFY
(looks at Giles) Right. Either repair the chip, or to remove it.

GILES
You had it remov—You removed the chip?

BUFFY
(smiling, trying to look innocent) Yeah.

SPIKE
Had to make a choice.

BUFFY
It really is OK.

AMANDA
What's a chip?

KENNEDY
They removed the chip?

CHAO-AHN
(speaking Chinese)
SUBTITLE: I don't understand a word any of you are saying.




2)Direktor priglasil Buffy na vidniy,te kto ne smotreli-it comicated...




WILLOW
(folding socks) So, he asked you out to dinner?

BUFFY
Yeah. Isn't that weird? I mean, he's a Principal. He's a young, hot Principal with earrings, but he's a Principal. Why do you think he asked me out? I mean, he could be interested, right?

WILLOW
Yeah, sure. You're a frisky vixen.

BUFFY
Or, it could be work-related. Maybe I'm getting promoted for doing such a good job.

WILLOW
(laughs, then notices Buffy's hurt look and gets serious) Oh, right, that—that makes sense too.

BUFFY
Or, maybe he knows that I suspect he's up to something, and he's taking me out to kill me.

WILLOW
(shrugs) Well, you'll have to dress for the ambiguity.

BUFFY
You know, it's not even that he's acting that suspicious. It's just—there he is. On the hell mouth. All day, every day. That's got to be like being showered with evil. Only from underneath.

WILLOW
Not really a shower.

BUFFY
A bidet. Like a bidet of evil.

WILLOW
Buff, if he's really interested, (smiles) are you interested back?

BUFFY
(blushes) I don't know. He's good-looking, and he's—he's solid, he's smart, he's normal. So, not the wicked energy, which is nice 'cause I don't want to only be attracted to wicked energy. Or what if he is wicked, in which case, is that why I'm attracted to him?

WILLOW
I'm gonna wait for that sentence to come around again before I jump on.

BUFFY
(grins) You know what? Yeah, I mean I think I like him. And he'd be good for me.

WILLOW
(nods) Right. Help you move on.

BUFFY
(defensively) Why does everybody in this house think I'm still in love with Spike?

WILLOW
No, I-I meant move on from this imposed super-self-reliance. Let somebody get close.

BUFFY
Oh. (the front door opens) Hey, someone's here.

XANDER
(comes in through the front door, giddy) Guys, guess what happened.

WILLOW
(grins) Buffy got a date!

XANDER
(excited) No, I did. (looks at Buffy, frowning) Fine. Way to steal my thunder.

BUFFY
Sorry. If it makes you feel better, it's Principal Wood, and I think he's aligned with the First.

XANDER
Also, like ten years older than you, right?

WILLOW
(teasing) Which is like 100 years younger than your type!

BUFFY
Yay. Someone who doesn't remember the Industrial Revolution.

WILLOW
I think they're gonna end up making out. (mocking, holds a pair of socks to her chest lovingly) "Oh, Principal Wood," she'll gasp, "I love your lack of wicked energy."

BUFFY
(throws a pair of socks at Willow) Watch it, or I'm gonna make you talk about your new girlfriend who you hold hands with under the dinner table and think we don't notice.

WILLOW
How 'bout yours, Xander. Is she evil?

XANDER
Well, she's interested in me, so there's a good chance, but I'm hoping for the best. We're going for coffee. She has a kayak—



3)Ne tolko smeshno,moy lubimiy moment.



Anya-bivshaya Xandera.

16 INT. UPSTAIRS BATHROOM AT BUFFY'S HOUSE - DAY
Anya's cleaning a spot on a blouse while Buffy waits wearing jeans and a lace camisole.

ANYA
I don't think it's really a date. That's what I think. (scrubbing the shirt)

BUFFY
Well, it is unclear. That's why I chose a top that says, you know, I'm comfortable in a stodgy office or a swinging casual setting—or killing you, you know, if you're a demon.

ANYA
It also says I sometimes get blood on my shoulder. (looks at the shirt again) Or it might be pizza. (hands the shirt to Buffy) I don't think I can fix it.

BUFFY
Thanks for trying.

ANYA
And I wasn't talking about your date anyway. I was talking about this sham date of Xander's. I think it's part of a plan to make me jealous.

BUFFY
(shakes her head) Well, it's not working.

ANYA
Are you nuts? Of course it's working. Observe my-my bitter ranting. Hear the shrill edge of hysteria in my voice.

BUFFY
Um, I should really go find something else to wear. (walks out of the room)

ANYA
Fine, go. Leave me here to stew in my impotent rage. (Buffy stops, turns to look at Anya) I'm also gonna pee, (nods) so you should probably go. (shrugs)

Cut to:

17 INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY AT BUFFY'S HOUSE - DAY
Buffy steps out of the bathroom into the hallway to find Spike walking down the hall. They are face to face. Buffy stops in her tracks as soon as she sees him and tries to cover herself with the stained blouse.

SPIKE
You look nice.

BUFFY
Oh, thanks. (looks down at her camisole) Uh, traditionally, one wears something over this.

SPIKE
Heard you got a date.

BUFFY
(nervous) Well, it's unclear. I mean, I have this whole theory about a promotion. Or he's evil.

SPIKE
Buffy, I'm all right.

BUFFY
You don't have to—

SPIKE
What? Be noble? I'm not. Really, I'm all right. Think I still dream of a crypt for two with a white picket fence? My eyes are clear.

BUFFY
Good. I'm glad. Thank you.

SPIKE
Never much cared for picket fences, anyway. Bloody dangerous.

BUFFY
You should try this too. The going out thing, I mean. I mean, there's that girl you brought to Anya and Xander's not-a-wedding.

SPIKE
Oh, yeah, right. There's always girls who like the look—bad boy, you know. (nods) Does it for some of them.

BUFFY
Yeah, I can see that. I should go. I don't wanna be late.

Buffy walks down the hall past Spike.




4)ETO-NADO VIDET!

Anya storms into the dining room holding a stack of papers. Giles follows.

GILES
Anya, calm down. They're educational—

WILLOW
(Anya hands the papers to Willow) What's this?

Willow flips through the papers. They are crude stick-figure drawings in black and red marker depicting "Bringer" on one, "Vampire" on another, and "The Slayer (Buffy)" as well. There are more, but we get the idea. Each one shows a gruesome, bloody mess as the creature shown is drawn killing someone or something.

ANYA
Giles made them for Chao-Ahn, and now she's locked herself in the bathroom. There's other girls upstairs, and they're starting to complain.

GILES
Those are flashcards. I-I made them to facilitate her training. Chao-Ahn never had a watcher. The language problem—

WILLOW
You showed her these?

GILES
I wanted her to understand the seriousness of her situation.

DAWN
Holy crap!

Dawn holds up one of the pages labeled "Turok-Han" that shows the creature standing over a girl that's been ripped in half along her waistline, spilling a huge pool of blood everywhere.

GILES
Perhaps I'll rethink the approach.

WILLOW
In the meanwhile, wanna help us get researchy? We're trying to invade Buffy's date's privacy.

GILES
Buffy has a date?

ANYA
(rolls her eyes) Yes... Didn't you hear? Everybody has a date. Buffy has a date. Willow's been completely making out with this girl—

KENNEDY
(stands, pouts) Hey!

ANYA
Xander's out with some hardware-store-whore. It's Date Fest 2003. (sits)

WILLOW
Actually, Buffy's investigating Principal Wood. It's not a date.

GILES
Really.

WILLOW
Might be a date.

GILES
For God's sake! How can anyone think about their social life? We are about to fight the original primal evil. These girls are in mortal danger. Didn't you see the flashcards? This isn't right.

4) P.S.Vse devushki Xandera v sereale-demoni,on dumal eta nebudet.Oshibsya...

¨
28 INT. UNKNOWN - NIGHT
Xander's looking down at someone, talking, wearing no shirt.

XANDER
I knew it.

Pan out to show he's in the basement of Sunnydale High, tied to the wheel that Spike was hung on when he was drained to open the Seal of Danthazar. Lissa is standing near the pulley.

XANDER
See? I knew it.

LISSA
Thanks for your help selecting the ropes. The one I picked wasn't strong enough.

XANDER
Yeah, that would've been bad. Listen, is this because I'm friends with Buffy?

LISSA
Who's Buffy?

XANDER
The slayer.

LISSA
You know the slayer?

XANDER
(Lissa starts pulling on the rope, lifting the wheel Xander's attached to into the air) This can't just happen. It can't just keep happening that demon women find me attractive. There's gotta be a reason.

LISSA
You just seem like a nice guy, that's all. And I wanted to get to know you.

XANDER
And kill me?

LISSA
Sure. (ties off the rope) Do the ropes hurt?

XANDER
Yes.

LISSA
(smiles) Good.


INT. BASEMENT AT SUNNYDALE HIGH - NIGHT
Xander's suspended from the ceiling, tied to a wheel. Lissa's standing below him.

XANDER
Look, I know what happens if that seal down there gets all excited. I don't think you understand what you're getting yourself into.

LISSA
The seal opens, and a vicious feral vampire creature comes out.

XANDER
Well, then you do understand. But, uh, what makes you think that's, like, a good idea?

LISSA
The end is coming. The final fight, and everyone is hearing the drumbeat. It's telling us to pick our partners, align ourselves with the good or the evil.

Lissa reaches behind her to grab a long, thin knife. When she turns back to face Xander, her eyes have changed to a yellow lizard-eyed look. She stabs Xander in the belly.

XANDER
Aaah! (blood flows from his wound down the knife onto the seal below)

LISSA
Couldn't have done it without you, Xander. Thanks for the great date.



5)Vobshem Xandera spasli.


34 INT. LIVING ROOM AT BUFFY'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Dawn's staring out the front door. Anya's pacing. Willow and Andrew are sitting on the couch.

ANYA
Where are they? It's after 2. I can't believe Buffy hasn't brought him home yet. His slut ate him up.

WILLOW
His slut didn't eat him up. And besides, I thought you were all angry at him.

ANYA
My feelings are changeable but intense.

ANDREW
I understand your fear, Anya. I know fear myself 'cause, you know, I, um, I enraged that primal force.

GILES
(walks into the room, holding a glass of milk) They're not back yet?

ANYA
(to Giles) I'm worried. I-I think we should go find them. Xander could be injured or trapped or eaten up.

GILES
(looks at his watch) It is late. Perhaps a little reconnaissance might be helpful.

CHAO-AHN
(comes downstairs, worried, wearing a red silk robe. speaking Chinese)
SUBTITLE: Why is everyone up? Are the flashcard monsters attacking?

GILES
(to the others) She says she can't sleep. (to Chao-Ahn) Um, I made myself some warm milk. You can have it.

CHAO-AHN
(speaking Chinese angrily)
SUBTITLE: You're trying to kill me!

Chao-Ahn walks back upstairs.

GILES
She's shy.

DAWN
(looking out the front door) They're back! Oh, here they come.

ANYA
(goes to front door) Xander all right?

DAWN
Looks OK.

ANYA
Damn him!

Buffy leads Xander into the house. He's got his shirt wrapped around his waist as a surrogate bandage. Spike follows them into the house.

WILLOW
What happened?

XANDER
What do you think happened? Another demon woman was attracted to me. (Anya rolls her eyes) I'm going gay. I've decided I'm turning gay. Willow, gay me up. Come on, let's gay.

WILLOW
(softly, a little embarassed) What?

XANDER
You heard me. Just tell me what to do. I'm mentally undressing Scott Bakula right now. That's a start, isn't it?

ANDREW
(wistfully) Captain Archer... (nods)

XANDER
Come on, let's get this gay show on the gay road. Help me out here.

BUFFY
(smiles) What if you just start attracting male demons?

DAWN
(giggles) Clem always liked you.

ANYA
(pouting) It would serve you right.

GILES
Children, enough.

XANDER
I'd need some stylish new clothes.

GILES
Enough! Have you learned nothing from tonight's assorted chaos? There isn't time for fun and games and quips about orientation. (holds up flashcards) These—these aren't a joke. (flips through the cards) This—this happens. Girls are going to die. We may die. It's time to get serious. (walks out of the room)





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