you can't handle music when hurt

you won't write any lyrics when moved

 

There is no proper way you'd manipulate a keyboard and a mouse and wipe off your tears at the same time.

 

I miss plain paper.

Where did all my many notebooks go?

 

this contradiction won't let creativity evolve into art

with a memory this poor, i can't compose much music with bare hands

 

i feel so useless

 

i'm hopeless

 

No, really.

 

Obviously incompatible with real world and experiencing one defeat after another within myself. How long will this maggot called me suck on the materia?

 

Indefinitely, I guess.

Till death do us part.

It's either changing the way I am or sticking to this role as given. The actual me is going to die soon anyway.

 

But the more I look to my soul, the more it seems hollow inside.

 

scary