Мисс Д (французский; на тему о неких disjunctive pronouns): So when I say use that I don't mean "those students", I mean "those"... those.

Мисс Д (французу): Read french with an American accent so we can understand it!

Мисс Д (об одном фильме): And what role did Jack Black... Jacques Noir play?

Мисс Д: When the French go to a "seance", it means they're going to be watching a movie, not levitating dead people!

Мисс Д (о пассивных предложениях): ...now suppose your mother says, "Oh yeah, leave the door open--our house will be burglarized!"

Мисс Д: Say "I am scared of spiders"... [class: "J'ai peur des araignees"] "I hate spiders"... [class: "Je deteste les araignees"] "I found a mutant spider under my bed and now we are best friends"...

Эдyард (о некой книге): This is perhaps the most realistic book I read since "Everybody Poops".

Мартин (о фильме "Суини Тодд"): Johnny Depp sings and slits people's throats at the same time.

Сара-Джейн: He slapped me!
Ребекка: No, he clapped, just his other hand was your face.

Брайан: If FDR was in a wheelchair, then how could he have an affair?
Мисс Робинсон (история): Okay, just his legs weren't working...
Саманта: His third leg worked fine.

В день когда и часы и звонки не работали:

Дама из офиса (по громкоговорителю): Please excuse the interruption. We have a repairman for the bell and phone system. [ключевая фраза:] Please call the office if your white handset is missing.
Мисс Д: It's not even white... it's, like, beige...
[прошло несколько минут; в 12:52 звонок всдруг звонит, несмотря на то что класс в это время не кончается]
Дама на громкоговорителе: Please excuse the interruption, that bell you just heard was our repairman working.

Мистер Моррисон (психология): I wonder what they put in Mountain Dew to make it that color...
Тим: Yellow # 6! It lowers your sperm count!
Моррисон: Hmmm, maybe you don't even need to use a condom--just drink Mountain Dew!
Кто-то: That's what I do. Works every time.
Моррисон: Only in psychology class can you mention "condom" and "Mountain Dew" in the same sentence.