Есть такой американский боян - смешные сообщения с доск обьявлений в церквушках по всей стране. Ниже сборник тех которые мне больше других понравились.

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-Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 a.m. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done

-The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth Into Joy."

-Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

-The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

-The sermon this morning is "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight is "Searching for Jesus."

-Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

-Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7:00 p.m. Please use the back door.

-Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

-Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

-Don't let worry kill you. Let the Church help.

-Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

-Thursday at 5 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his private study.

-The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.

-A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

-Weight Watchers will meet at 7:00 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

-Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

И моё самое любимое:

The associate minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge—Up Yours."